人家都那么拼,我辛苦些又有什么关系呢?
Really, was watching my taiwan serial 公主小妹, and see how much people could struggle and fight for their own dreams, and I started looking at myself. I'm so much more fortunate, and even have the time and luxury to watch taiwan serials while working towards my dream. If taiwan serials aren't realistic enough, even a mere comparison with many others, make me feel fortunate. In the least, I do not have to work 24/7 for less pay. I still have my free time to do what I want, and to live reasonably well. Why then, am I not putting enough effort in working towards my dream?
Again, I think it's a severe indoctrination of the sg education. Play for too long means bad, and makes me feel guilty. I was asking myself, "so what if I spent my entire weekend just watching taiwan serials? Don't I deserve a good rest?" But that really didn't help. I still feel guilty wasting that time away, when I have so many things to learn and even more things to work on for my dreams. Why can't I just be more enthusiastic about my dreams? Why can't I do more about it? Why can't I not feel guilty relaxing more than I should? Can someone tell me, it really really doesn't matter if I slack my weekend away, and not think about work or my dreams? I still have some time, but does that mean I can waste it? Can I not naturally procrastinate on my dreams like I do on my homework and projects?
Oh well... The price to pay for saying "Study first to enjoy later." for the last 9 years of education.