I would never forget these days of starting out, the pains I endured, the silent struggles in both physical and mental realm, unknown to the world but myself, just to prove what I believed in. Perhaps I should get some help, but it still isn't time. 10 years from now, I shall reminisce these days, these days where I fought with no one but myself, my mental self.

I realized the partner I need is no longer someone who is able to supply the encouragement, but has evolved to someone who would fight for a similar cause, fight for the same future, to someone whom I could not only rest my weary body on, but also the even more burdened soul. Yes, I need someone who has the ability to share that burden, that burden I had crazily created. But does this person ever exist? To find one who has the capability of supplying the encouragement I need is already a difficult task; and to find one who believed in what I believed is near-impossible.

Oh well, I hope all these would not come to a naught. If so, I would be sad. The more I invest in, the higher my hopes, the harder it is to get out, and the harder I would fall. I wish life would be as simple as go to work, have a family, come home, slack, play with kids, play with wife. Perhaps... perhaps that would the life in 10 years time. For now, perhaps it's worth every effort to strive towards that target. I think I'm thinking and pressuring myself too much again. I shall take it easy.