After going through so much stuff in the last 3 yrs, I finally figured out what my dream really is. I have so many great ambitions, I have "changed" my direction so many times. At times I was lost, and am still lost. But I am lost, not by where I want to go, but how I want to go. On further analysis, despite my changing of directions again and again, the drive behind everything that I tried doing and wanted to do, actually remains the same. It has all the while been masked by numerous failures, and numerous temptations. But all my actions stem from a single basis, a single seemingly simple, general and yet complicated dream - to make my dad proud of me.

Simple? Yes, obviously it's simple. But how am I going to do it? There's no stated way on how my dad will be proud of me. There's no criteria, no requirement. The only restraint is myself, my dream on achieving something which I think would make my dad really proud of his son. I never really did anything for myself, past and present. My drive stems from my dad. But the way to do it, comes from me. I wish I could simply let myself go and lead a simple life and have a happy family with my wife. My dad would definitely still be proud of me. But I really really want to do something bigger than just that. Oh well... it may be a pity to let a good wind pass, but good winds will still blow again, and I'll catch that wind next time. Let's just wait and improve my glider in the meantime.

And many many thanks to Jess who stayed up almost the whole night,just for me, talking to me, listening to my nonsense while I try to unconvince what I've convinced, cos I psyched myself to be convinced in the first place, and sacrificing much of her precious GRE revision time. Really appreciate that and feel really bad about it. Hope she ace her GRE on Sat!!!