当一个人不愿意为你而改变的时候就是分手的时候。

Words from a good friend. Quite sympathetic with his situation, but I guess he's probably right. Life is ever changing, so is the case in a relationship. The key thing in a successful relationship, at least in the beginning, is to change and compromise so that mismatches in both parties are nullified. This is an imperfect world, so it's probably one in a million cases where one finds a perfect match between two people who're just getting into a relationship, where no change is necessary for that bridge. Given that, it is still possible to find many good matches in this world, but like I said earlier, the key thing is mutual change. And a good match is when a couple finally reached a equilibrium state of change.

I may have brought this up many times, but I really couldn't stress this enough. To change doesn't mean one gives up his interests and becomes the other person or the ideal person. To change probably means being interested in or better yet, trying to pick up the other person's hobbies or activities. It's more of an addition to what one has now, rather than a negation. It's more of a correction from something undesirable to something more desirable, at least socially. In other words, one really doesn't lose one's individuality and uniqueness in the process of change. In fact, it makes one a better person in general. Of course, having said that, we should always keep on guard against and filter out negative changes. But a pity thing is that many people are generally innately resistant to change, despite all those wonderful evolution theory. Or perhaps I should rephrase that, people are resistant to change in the short term. Who in this world is able to radically change as they wish? But then again, is it really that impossible? While I agree that it's really hard to change a habit that has gone through like 10 yrs of cultivation, it's probably not all that hard if one manages to see and understand the need for that change. Hence probably the reason behind people's resistance to change is to see the reason for change.

Personally I think I'm too ready to change. And perhaps because of that, I can't really see the difficulty in changing. I mean, if one has the determination to change, and makes a conscious effort to do so, it's probably easy to make a change for most stuff. I'm probably the best example for change. Art used to my most hated and worst subject in sec school. I failed every single art assignment that I had. And that remained for quite some time till the recent years when I wanted to start picking that skill up again. It wasn't until recently that I actually acted on it. Well, though I'm really not all that good at it yet, but it's probably not that bad either, or at least efforts wise. And of course, given my queer habit, I seldom do any creative composition for myself. My music compositions are always written for someone. My video production is also made for people whom I feel deserve. So are my art drawings, given to people whom I think would appreciate. Generally, I keep only the memories of them, as opposed to its physical existence. Cos I really don't see any meaning to make something just for myself to appreciate. Well, speaking of art, I just drew something which I had never ever dreamt of even trying before. To others, it may just be a piece of cake. But to an art-idiot like myself who suck at drawing since primary school, it's really really a herculean task. I had never ever thought I'd draw something like that, at least not this soon when I just got started. Yeah, it took me some 7 hrs to draw and touch up that piece. And of course, it's been given away for 7 secs of appreciation and probably forgotten soon. But that's probably one of the last pieces I'd do for a long time to come. I think I've been spending too much of my free time doing stuff to make others happy. But I'm perfectly happy with that, as im really happy doing it as I hoped it'll cheer people up. But of course when you do that, you tend to hope that others would do likewise. Or at least do something in their free time for you. Sometimes it really make me feel like an idiot to always be the only one doing it. When I'm down with tons of hw and exam the next day, I had to slog through it alone like the past. When others are stressed, I try to make them happy. I'm always spending time and mental efforts trying to come up with surprises to make people happy, but of course I feel sad when no one reciprocated. I feel I'm being taken for granted and I really really hate that. Nothing else in this world can make me react so strongly other than unappreciated efforts. 患难之交. I think that's the perfect word for me. I only help during bad times, but disappear when good times come and not enjoying it when deserved. Well, not that I don't want to, I just feel being cast aside when good time approaches, but yet still stupidly extend my helping hand everytime during down times, and of course suffer the repercussions of it every time I do it. I think I've had enough. I want someone who'd give me strength and hope when I needed it, I want someone who'd be willing to engage in my interests just like what I did, I want someone who'd be willing to spend some free time with me or for me rather than solely engaging in one's own world of interests and of course talking to others online in the already limited free time one has. Yes, I'm selfish, very selfish. How can I forget the lessons I've learnt in the past? But I'm probably going to be generous for once. I'm probably going to let go and allow the O2 to reignite the splinter. That would probably spare everyone some trouble and unhappiness.

当一个人不愿意为你而改变的时候就是分手的时候。

Oh lord, have I failed once again in the test you've set me? Shall I persist... or shall I give up? Is this a worthwhile investment with returns? I think I'm just a box of emotions.


By the way, to my dear friend, don't worry, you'd be able to find someone soon. Your 口才 is so good and you're so 帅... should be no problem... except that your bball skills suck!!! hehe~ =)