Dad was right about that thing. In fact, dad has always been right about most things. It really did affect me after all. But it shouldn't be that bad after this week. I've got to really get down to work after this week. I've been worrying just too much. But there's just too much to worry about. And it's just not me to simply let my guard down. Past experiences have proven that something will always go wrong if I don't think of every little detail or every possible mishaps. Arrgh! I hate all these plannings and stuff. Why did I choose to do all these things? Sometimes I think I'm really not suited to be in this line. I just don't seem to have the energy to keep myself going, unlike my friend, who never seems to get tired. In fact she loves it. Why don't I feel the same too? What field then should I go into next time? I think I have really lost my focus and enthusiasm in my ambitions. I suck at Engineering, and I suck at management. In fact, I think I suck at everything. Why can't I be like my friends - at least excel in something, to have something to be proud of? When can I ever refocus myself again so that I'd truly excel in something that I can really be proud of? I think I've really wasted a lot of time doing stuff that is totally unrelated. Gah... I just hope I land myself in a good job next time and hopefully have time to recollect myself again and revive my fading ambitions. Ahh, who would want an inexperienced greenhorn who have not done anything other than classroom stuff and could only do problems at that time and conveniently forgetting everything after that? Is there anyone in this world who'll magically be able to spark off my inspirations and drive again? Just in one of those frequent sucky mood when i reflect upon my useless self and start rambling away after that. Just ignore this post, anyway i dun think anyone would read anything that's all lumped in one whole paragraph. No mood to even divide out the paragraphs neatly. TOo bad. Nothing interesting anyway.